“And in the luck of night
In secret places where no other spied
I went without my sight
Without a light to guide
Except the heart that lit me from inside”
– St. John of The Cross, The Dark Night Of The Soul
Where to begin.
My mom's passing
How to get 'home' took up all our energies for two days. Everything else got pushed to the back burner as we scrambled to do the right thing.
We finally realized the vast distances separating us from family. It would take four exhausting days to drive it and we still wouldn't make it to the Friday morning service. Flying costs would top two grand. Doing either made no sense and yet…
…to contemplate not going, felt dark and ugly.
That feeling lasted quite awhile.
We spoke a lot with Ed and Rose. They were amazing. I have not sensed such deep brotherhood with them since we were kids. What a gift. I love you guys.
Emily and Will were great too. They reminded me that life is now and that forgiveness is found within. That's two pretty amazing gifts.
My cousins Julia and Mary wrote often. They have experience at long distance family crises and their support was a great comfort.
My brother from a one-of-a-kind mother Bobbie, re-connected…and how cool is that. Friends old and new communicated with us, sharing their love and compassion. As Wendy says often, “We have the greatest friends”
And I remembered the most important thing…my mom knows how much we all love her.
All that love enabled us to calm down, stay put, be still…breathe….ahhh that's better.
Thank all of you for those gifts. Your light cleared away the darkness.
Of course, while all that was going on, life continued uninterrupted. Thursday night arrives…
We have to be out of Colin's place tomorrow and we have nowhere to go. We can't camp because it's going to rain for a week. We can't leave because our shocks are kaput. Honda won't fix them under warranty and Chris (September 15 Post) is the only person we trust with the Civic and he's away until…you guessed it…Friday. Several friends have offered us their homes as stopovers…it's tempting and convenient and we are truly grateful but it doesn't feel right. Nothing does. Hell, we don't even know whether we want to stay on the coast or leave. We decide to do nothing. We'll let tomorrow show us where it wants us to be.
Luckily, that's what we signed up for. One moment at a time. Where the wind blows.
Friday September 27
We've spent the day doing laundry, packing up our stuff.
At 1.07pm J.J., our friend in Roberts Creek, sends an e-mail. If possible, he'd like to see us tonight…around six…and he is busy the rest of the weekend.
Absolutely. It feels right.
An hour later, our buddy Renee (J.J.'s daughter) texts Wendy to once more offer us a place in her home for the weekend. We really appreciate it but it still doesn't feel right. We thank her and decline her offer again
That reminds us…Wendy texts Chris (he's back today) and asks if he would fix our shocks when he has time.
Shortly after Colin says, “Call Martin”.
Say, that's a great idea. Martin is the owner of 'Up The Creek', a hostel in…Roberts Creek. That does feel right. We call Martin and book his small cabin for the night
We have a wonderful time at J.J.'s. He asks us where we're staying….”Well, we're at Martin's tonight. Renee offered to let us stay at their house tomorrow (Saturday) but it doesn't feel right.”
J.J. says that's too bad, he'll be at Renee's on Sunday morning for Adelie's birthday party, we could have visited again. A family birthday…now we're certain that we don't want to invade Renee and Brian's home.
We head back to our cabin feeling homeless but at peace. J.J. Is a very calming presence.
The cabin is adorable…it's the size of a British phone booth and it's super cozy.
It's been a long and rainy week. But even though it's raining out…it feels like the sun is rising. We're here now. It feels good. And as Sgt. Elias would say, “Feeling good is good enough”
Wow, I didn't realize just how tired I really am. I hope you'll forgive me if I just head off to rest. I'll tell you some more of the story tomorrow. It's pretty cool.
Moose and Wendle
If you're on the coast, check this out…a chance to meet and support Kirk (the one and true Mayor)